Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
