I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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