i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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