rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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