Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
