we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
