oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
