you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
