how can u be prego again
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
