My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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