I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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