I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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