Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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