I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Never joke about your clitoris.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
