Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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