I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
