Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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