I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
