we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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