I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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