Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
