when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
