haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
