So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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