I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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