We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
