so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
