so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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