Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
