no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If I die, sorry about rent.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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