i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
