we have officially lost it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
