she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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