I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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