the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Life without a bra equals bliss.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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