The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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