Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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