I puked a lego.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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