grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
