Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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