my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
