I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
