And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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