We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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