your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
