I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When are your genitals available?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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