Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
