I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just come out here and I will go home with you...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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