And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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