after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
